Being a Yes Person all the time can be a pain. “Hey, can you lend me some cash this week?”. And you only got paid the day before. “Hey, can I crash at your side for a few months?” And you just got your significant other to move in. “Hey, can I get one of your kidneys?” OK, we don’t even know how to answer that.
This is not to say that we believe being altruistic is wrong. Not at all. Being empathetic- kind to both friend and stranger is an ideal human trait. However, one can’t always overlook their mental, physical and emotional well-being for the benefit of others. Sometimes, you’ve got to say ‘No’. If you don’t you could get walked all over or even disrespected. But the problem is, why can’t we say it?
According to Damon Zahariades’ The Art of Saying No, we struggle to say ‘No’ because most of us were raised to believe saying it was rude or selfish.
‘No’ is useful. It keeps you grounded, confident and ensures you don’t get walked over. We’ll, at least most of the time. Unless you have a kink for being dominated the kudos to you. If not, then this is for you.
If you never had a reason to say No before then we’ll give you 5 of them.
1. Saying ‘No’ builds your self-esteem
Self-esteem can be a tricky thing. Being an insecure person may make you prone to saying ‘Yes’ to many things that don’t favour you. Saying ‘No’ expresses your feelings and intentions don’t get overlooked. And this in the long run builds your confidence.
2. Saying ‘No’ ensures you make good business decisions.
Yes, ‘no’ can save you money. In a relationship, social or economical, learning to Say ‘No’ can keep you from over-lending, over-borrowing or making downright wrong business decisions. Try it today and see how much you save.
3. Saying ‘No’ saves you from drama.
The world is stressful as it is. Saying ‘No’ (without malice) to certain relationships will save you the emotional and mental stress that comes with entertaining relationships that don’t value you.
4. Saying ‘No’ protects us from Emotional Bullying.
In this world, you’ll occasionally run into people who refuse to take no for an answer. They’ll go to great lengths to compel you to say yes, including using emotional bullying. Standing your ground and saying ‘No’ to such antics protects your own personal ideals and values.
5. Saying ‘No’ ensures equity
It may sound counter-intuitive but saying ‘No’ does shield us from certain types of antagonism. A ‘No’ does not necessarily mean terms cannot be changed to favour both parties invovled. It just means a more equitable resolution needs to be reached. You could say yes to quash any potential dust-up. But what is overlooked today tends to rear its head in future.