Has your phone been binging everyday with a notification from your network about re-registering your SIM Card with your Ghana Card details? I know mine has. The funny thing is…<whispers> my Ghana Card hasn’t been printed out yet. And I know I’m not the only one.
The Ghana Card registration exercise has been on the lips of many Ghanaians for the past few weeks. GoG says without it we won’t be allowed to do any monetary transactions or make calls from the start of August.
The people of Ghana say, “How do you want us to register when we haven’t gotten our cards yet?”
I went to the nearest National Identification Authority centre to get my card. *Cough-cough* El Wak*. You’d think the queue was handing out US Visas. When I crossed the line to remind the registration agent that I’d come a few weeks early on to register you would think I had a “Vote for Adwoa Sarfo” shirt on. The queue wanted to chew me up. So I trudged back to join the long line of frustrated Ghana Card applicants.
Here are the 6 types of people that stood out for me in the Ghana Card registration queue.
1. The Borga with the accent who just dropped in town.

You can identify them by their wide-brimmed hats, shades and the fact that their fanning themselves incessantly. Can you blame them? Ghana’s hot. I just love how they drop their accent for Twi when they see someone trying to cross the line. They’ll add schiesse in between the Twi for flavour.
2. The frustrated parent with 2+ kids.

As if the line isn’t moving slow enough now you have to deal with the children who’ve grown fussy from standing for hours on end. While sitting on that 3y3 20 Ghana original plastic chair you’re remembering the day you first heard about Marie Stopes.
3. The slay queen streaking on Snapchat

Because if she doesn’t share how she’s over this Ghana Card stress how will the rest of the world know.
4. The Exhausted Registrant

Honestly. Truly. This one is just a worn-out Ghanaian who has been in the queue for days on end just to collect their printed cards or submit their biometrics. Each day, they’re informed to report for their card. Each day they leave without it. Ghana why?
5. The self-important ‘First-class’ citizen.

So-so grammar and “Do you know who I am?!” They feel they deserve to be looked after first because they have certain perks such as vocabs, or having been part of a Big Man’s electoral campaign once-upon-a-time. Sadly, they are in the queue like the rest of us.
6. The Correct Protocol.

This one doesn’t talk plenty. They just come to the centre and walk to the front of the queue. Immediately, the registrars give them a seat. Everyone in the queue will be mouthing off but they are unbothered. They’ll even be chatting elatedly with the registrar. In less than 20 minutes they’ll pass by the queue with their card stowed away and their Bolt rider waiting at the gate. Now that’s how you make Who-You-Know look sexy.