“When I was your age I always topped the class”. And they’ll say this with their whole chest without any report card to show evidence. The annoying part? “Kojo, why do you like lying? Where did you learn to lie like that.” Well, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
Ghanaian parents will never admit it but they are masters of deception. You can qualify it as white lies or even rainbow lies if you want, but some Ghanaian parents could lie their way out of a death grip. Some of their lies will put you in a bottle. And the funny part? Most of them lie unprovoked.
Here are some popular lies Ghanaian parents tell their kids.
1. “Let me keep the money for you, OK?”
Forget it. You aren’t getting that money. Ever. Your favourite Auntie Nana Adwoa Awindor comes from abroad and dashes you some pounds or dollars. And you mother sees it. Sorry for your loss but that money is no longer yours. When you ask for it. The answer: “You think I feed you with money growing on trees, eh?
2. “I never worried my parents like this.”
Oh, so you were such an angel, eh? Then why did you tell us about how your father disciplined you with the Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child Montesorri method?
3. “Tell me the truth. I won’t beat you.”
You’ll be daubing gentian violet on your wounds and wondering why you chose to shame the Devil but saying the truth.
4. “We’ll leave soon, ok?”
Said she, yet again, 5 hours later.
5. “Dating? Our time we didn’t do this girlfriend and boyfriend things oo.”
Then what is joley-joley?! Eh?! Why do you have a term for it then, Ma? Approach the papacy and answer.
6. “Don’t worry, they said it’s in fashion now.”
Meanwhile the last time that blouse was fashionable was when Brick and Lace performed in Ghana.
7. “I don’t have a favourite child.”
Said Daddy a day after saying “Daddy’s favorite girl to your twin sister”. Pains.