“We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us,” Mokokoma Mokhonoana once said. And Lord knows, he wasn’t wrong.
Nowadays, being lucky in love seems like a rare find. True love has really become a fairytale in the 21st century.
Day 1, you meet this fine girl and exchange contacts. You send her a ‘Hi’ and she responds almost promptly. The chat carries on nicely. Day 2 is just as rosy. Day 3 is when it starts to take a turn. She responds hours after you text, maybe even a day after. When you message her again, she apologies profusely for leaving you on ‘Read’ or not seeing your message at all. They’ll never message you first but they’ll respond when you do.
Yeah, e don cast, but not for the reasons you think.
Here are 5 of the top reasons why they don’t text first.
1. They are busy
Lately, everyone is on the move for the next big win, completing a task or just burnt out from work or personal life.They just aren’t texting you first because they have their hands full.
Our advise: Ask them when is a great time for you to reach out to them.
2. They aren’t sure about how they feel about you…yet.
They may not have made up their minds about you since its early days. Sometimes, people want to be sure you’re really interested and not just engaging them for fancy. This is usually because of their previous terrible experiences with other people that showed interest in them.
Our advise: be forward and ask if they’d like to hang out with you sometime soon. If yes, arrange a date that works for you two.
3. Other people like them too.
Just as you do so do others too. This person you’re texting might be overwhelmed with the constant messages they get from other suitors. Sorry, love, but it’s just the way our digital dating world is.
Our advise: ask if they’re vibing with other people. It’s best to get that out of the way from the start. That way you can advice yourself.
4. They may not like to text.
Yes, I know. This point sounds bizarre but it’s true. Some people just don’t like to text. They’d rather FaceTime, speak over the phone or rather meet in person.
Our advice: It’s best to find out what mode of communication the person likes when you start texting.
5. They just aren’t interested.
Sorry, for your unrequited feelings but just because you like someone doesn’t mean they’ll like you back. Yes, even if they gave you their number. Some people get anxious by the idea of saying ‘No’ to someone. It may feel like their leading you on but they don’t mean to be cruel. They just can’t say it to your face.
Our advise: ask if they’d like to text some more or if they’d rather abstain. Please, no matter what you do, don’t make it an ultimatum. If they were interested before and you asked like it was a final notice, you’d most certainly put them off.
And clearly you’re the one texting first so the onus falls on…well, you know who.
PHOTO CREDIT: Alex Green