Ghanaian weddings come with a full cast, and every one of us has met them.
There’s the aunty the bride hasn’t seen in ten years who somehow knows the groom’s entire family tree, blood type included. There’s the MC who treats the reception like a one-person show, and the guest who came for the buffet and left with enough chop for the whole house.
We’re honestly surprised Ghallywood hasn’t made a Ghanaian version of The Wedding Party yet.
Until it does, here are 8 types of people you’ll find at a typical Ghanaian wedding.
Which one are you?
1. The Inquisitive Aunties
These are the women who’ll spend months asking “when will you marry, when will you marry?” Then on the actual wedding day, you’ll catch them frowning and pointing out everything wrong. “This dress material de3… hmm.”
2. The Overzealous MC
Their job is to host the reception, solicit donations sometimes, and go. But no. They wrote on their CV that they go above and beyond, so they’ll study every anxious expression the groom or bride makes, embarrass you in front of everyone, and then ask “wu fr3 anaa?” Imagine that.
3. The So You Think You Can Dance Geng
Ghanaian Weddings are supposed to be elegant, full of poise and calm, collected energy. This group never got the memo. They’ll turn the dance floor into a full performance, asabone moves and all, the kind that makes you want to hide your face.
READ MORE: Wedding Guest Style: 11 gorgeous African print outfits for weddings
4. The “Akweley Y3 Shia” Squad
They didn’t come to a wedding, they came to a buffet. They’ll skip the ceremony entirely, show up right as the reception starts, and bring extra bags to carry chop-chop home for the “other three stomachs” waiting for them.
5. The Too-Known Camera Man
We know you’re doing your job. But some of these guys treat it like a National Geographic shoot, somersaulting and jumping around like they’re stalking wildlife. And the most annoying part, they’ll send you the photo album six months after the wedding hashtag has already died.
6. The Aburokyire Aunty
She left when you were still sucking your thumb, and now she’s back looking like she personally invented fashion. Headgear touching the ceiling, lace nobody in Ghana has seen yet, and a perfume cloud that announces her a full room before she does. She’ll hold your face in both hands and go “ei, look how big you’ve grown” as if you had a choice in the matter.
7. The Overdressed Guest
Somebody forgot to tell her this was the bride’s day. Full ballgown, a train that needs its own usher, and jewelry catching more light than the actual couple. She’s not trying to outshine anybody, she’ll tell you, she “just likes to dress well.”
8. The Latecomers Who Still Take Front Row
They stroll in two hours after the ceremony started, somehow during the vows, and head straight for the front seats like they reserved them. No apology, no shame. By the time photos happen, they’re front and center, smiling like they were there from the beginnin
